FOUR HOURS AND FOUR SCORE YEARS! VOL 2

12:00 noon

-------Pappi Enters-----

And all my good feelings about women took a hike.

For those of you wanting to know about Pappi....I'm sorry, I don't wish glorify her with a space in the blogosphere. Neither she ( she is wretched), the blogosphere( too sacred) nor me (sheer waste of time) deserve it. This may disappoint you but Pareto would die all over again if I wrote about her on the same page.

Einstein had definitely said something about a beautiful woman and a hot pan. The hot pan was dealt with the last time out. So let us stick to the woman (figuratively, of course) this time around. People contend that Time and Destiny are two hands of a scissor, that is, they operate only together. To those I generally put the question….What is Time and Destiny?? From what little consensus I obtained I foraged the following answers: Time is how the day proceeds…Destiny is the set of predetermined events that occur at various points in Time. I find these unsatisfactory though being a sceptic I am bound or destined, you can say, to find them so. Maybe that is why many people are not punctual.....they just don’t understand Time. I prefer to call these twin hands” Titiny” and the events below took place a couple of weeks ago.

The few weeks before the mid-semester break were a severe test of human(even my) patience. The conjunctivitis outbreak had made life hell. With people falling victim everyday I was soon surrounded by a group of spectacled, red-eyed youth out to give everyone a taste (or sight) of this dreaded disease.

Note: I refuse to address this disease by the name “eye-flu”...For reasons unknown the influenza virus has been named the perpetrator for this menace though it is not....The influenza virus affects the mucus membrane and so it is difficult to “see” why this ailment of the eye acquired this name.

Eyes averted, I ducked and squeezed through the interminable weeks or years (no idea about the time) with the hope of a clear- sighted stay at home. Friends prophesied that I cannot escape Titiny and that it would get me too. But I had the last laugh as I trundled away into the break unscathed.
-----16:00(by my watch)-------
My journey home never fails to reveal to me the size of India. It takes a colossal forty hours and two trains to travel from the north to the south of India. I have to take a train to New Delhi from where I take the Tamil Nadu Express a couple of hours later. Mother India cradles in her bosom over a billion people. This hit me as soon as I entered my train at Saharanpur. The train, on its way from Dehradun/Haridwar, had picked a really motley group of passengers. Sadhus, Devotees, Pilgrims, office-goers, children, students and hawkers et al. occupied the small compartment. Over 200 people were present where 72 should have been...and that, of course, is the story of our country. Somehow, or as Ravi (who was travelling with me) would contend, Titiny helped us find a seat. Also present

in the coupé were an old Sadhu(a relic washed ashore by the Ganges), a couple of railway employees busy in their game of cards and an old general-type(Sam Manekshaw look-alike). Time acquired wings as Uncle Sam and one of the rail guys regaled us with an exciting argument on Brain Drain. Relic-the-Sadhu was captivated by something off in the distance.
-----17:30--------
Muzaffarnagar......A routine two minute stop ....A full half-hour went by. I felt the first stirrings of unease. A Half hour meant only one thing...no time for Dinner!! As the train left I caught a nap for a few minutes (or so I thought)....a profusion of noises breached the curtain of my sleep....I blearily glanced at my watch.
------19:00-----
Meerut City Station, a 10 minute stop. I got out for a breath of fresh air but was instead assailed by the pungent odours of filth. I braved on towards a group of paan-chewing, loud-mouthed men in deep deliberation...Titiny was about to shake me up.....From the garrulous men I gathered that train was to stop there for 45 minutes and the train would not go to Delhi as the Yamuna was in spate. The unease became anxiety that started to perspire down my skin.Maybe Titiny was a force.Maybe the heavens were conspiring.
---20:30-----
Two hours to left to catch the other train. We may just make it. The Sadhu broke out of his reverie to ask where the train was headed. So I asked him in turn as to where he wanted to go and he said...”Where ever the train goes”. Stupifies I mumbled out Bombay. Such pedestrian issues as destination, tickets and reservation it seemed were below this ascetic.

---21:15----
Sahibabad....Uncle Sam, who lived there, guided us out of the station and into an auto. We were off safely to the first metro station. The auto had barely moved when it got caught up at the tail of a pretty long jam. Much to Sam’s consternation we abandoned the auto and set out on foot. A kilometre and a half trek through the worst dust blown traffic and the U.P. border (might have as well been the Indian border for its hostility). Drenched in sweat and caked in dust we made it to the station. It was….
---21:45---
On the metro ….Eyes closed I willed the train to go faster and the Time to go slower. I felt Titiny breathing on my neck whispering cunningly. Startled, I opened my eyes to find that it was only a guy sharing his near death experience (Ah, the human need to communicate)…I solemnly continued my silent prayers. We had to change metro trains too.
---22:10---
20 minutes to go and no train in sight. A series of winding runs through the metro station had drenched my dress to the full. Add that to the anxiety ....a lethal cocktail of sweat (and maybe some tears at the end). I paced along the platform like an expectant father waiting for his train to emerge from the tunnel. Every minute I waited was but a second in my head.
---22:21---
The baby arrived. I started the final countdown (yeah, the background score was playing away in my head)
367 seconds later….
---22:28---
New Delhi Railway Station…..A sweeter sight I had never seen. We made a mad dash to the platform.
--22:30---
The Indian Railways (aided by Titiny) showed their punctuality now and the train kicked off on time. We ran like raving maniacs and tossed the luggage onto the running train. A couple of helping hands dragged us onto the train. I could have sworn I had felt Titiny tug me back by the collar. I looked down to see both my feet in the train(Sigh). I took my first full breath in hours. Overcome by the effort…I found my berth, set the luggage and slept like a baby.
---The Following Morning----
The exciting events of the previous night began to sink in the moment I got up. I felt triumphant, ecstatic even. I had fought with Titiny and come off the better. I had met her in her battlefield and staved her off like a great Spartan Warrior!!Hahaha!!(evil laughter rang through my head). What a moment it was, ephemeral though it turned out to be. As I got up gleefully like a satisfied kitten to brush my teeth I was greeted in the mirror by a sweat-streaked, disheveled guy with red and puffy as tomatoes….OH No!! Conjuctivitis!!The Eye-Flu!!Oh Titiny!!